Saturday, 4 December 2010

Midlife Crisis and Breakup - How You Can Survive It

Your partner has hit middle age. They have been questioning everything about their lives, their very existence, what they are doing, where they are going. Sometimes these questions become too much, and they completely rebel from your partnership. Their midlife crisis destroys your life as well as theirs. In the end, it is too much and the midlife crisis causes your relationship to break down.

It is a tragic time, very hard to deal with, as many memories of happy times together will come flooding back to you time after time. The sad part is, that person you loved is gone, they have moved on and the hardest thing is, they have had more time to prepare for it, and when the announcement comes, it leaves you in a state of shock.

Your life is now seemingly in tatters, your hopes, your dreams, your plans all gone and wiped out. They are off having fun, doing what they "want", while you are left to try and cope and figure out what has gone wrong.

So what can you do?

Firstly, you need to realize that this is their crisis and not yours. It may feel like you are the one in crisis while they are seemingly enjoying themselves, but that couldn't be further than the truth.

Secondly, you should start looking to form your own life. If you can, appear nonchalant regarding their behavior and this in turn can work your way as they begin to realize the universe doesn't revolve around them after all.

Thirdly, seek counseling. Many people before have experienced what you are going through and there is countless help and advice out there for you. The sooner you deal with it, the better you are going to come out of it.

There are also countless publications out there with advice, information and help for you to understand what is happening and how you can deal with it.

To start with, I would recommend two publications, one deals with breaking up and even gives you ideas on how to get them back.

The other gives an excellent introduction into the midlife crisis and helps you to understand where they're at.

Signs of a Midlife Crisis - 5 Big Tell Tale Signs

You've been together since your teens, you know one another inside out, but you can tell something isn't right with them. They seem disinterested with life, not paying you as much attention, depressed or generally irritated. This could point to signs of a midlife crisis. From the mid 30's onwards, depending on many factors including personality, ego, childhood and so on, it is possible that your partner could be heading towards a midlife crisis.

So how do we tell? Are there any signs we can be looking for that can prepare us and help us? Well, here are five of the biggest tell tale signs.

1. Life is boring. Has your partner expressed this verbally or by their actions? Are they seeking more stimulating things or activities? Even things they used to do as teenagers, that would normally be too old for them to do now?

2. Are they disinterested in you, but perhaps flirting with other people? Are they spending a lot of time online, perhaps on Facebook or other social type sites?

3. Are they seeking to buy flashy things, sports cars, clothes to make them look younger? I remember going to a financial advisor's office for some investment advice, when he came out to greet me, he was around 45, but had a hairstyle of an 18 year old surfer, was wearing a shirt and tie and a pair of those Bermuda shorts. I know you shouldn't judge on appearances, but I couldn't bring myself to take his advice.

4. Are they doing things out of character and seemingly strange things? For example, my wife when she hit 40, wanted to change her name and have a metaphoric funeral for her old self, as the birth of her "new" self came through.

5. Reminiscing and thinking about the past is another big tell tale sign of a midlife crisis.

Of course, any one of these things alone do not necessarily mean they are in crisis or approaching crisis, but they can be used as an indication that things perhaps aren't alright with them. Forewarned is forearmed as they say, so it is useful to be able to be aware and look closely at what is happening or happened to your partner.

Looking for the signs of a midlife crisis could be key to saving your relationship. Find out as much as you possibly can because knowledge is power. If you can understand where your partner is at present, this will give you a fantastic insight to being able to help them and yourself and survive a midlife crisis.

Monday, 12 April 2010

How Do You Know if it is a Midlife Crisis?

Because a midlife crisis is something quite tricky to diagnose, if that's the right word, it is often asked how do you know if it is a midlife crisis or purely the person is just falling out of love with you.

After all, many years of being together can lead to boredom or the zip falling out of a marriage. Depression, being withdrawn and alcoholism can mask a person's midlife crisis.

Often, the partner not in midlife crisis mode is blamed for the marriage breakdown and the mlcer is perfect and not the problem at all.

But there are several good indications that a person is going into or experiencing a midlife crisis. Here's a few of them:

They talk about all the things they missed out on doing
Often they blame the spouse and for being married
Obsess about their appearance and aging
Drinking heavily
Porn and excessive computer use
Looking to return to old habits of youth

These are just a few of the signs that it could be a midlife crisis.

For further information visit this website to find out how to manage and understand these issues better.

Sunday, 11 April 2010

How Long Does a Midlife Crisis Last? – Your Essential Guide

How long does a midlife crisis last depends on a variety of factors. Circumstances, situations, peoples upbringings, beliefs, and so on make this a difficult question to answer, and although there does seem to be a common theme throughout many in mlc, the degree in which it hits a person is also very different.

To help answer this question, it's important to identify the different extremes of mlc. This can be broken down into several groups, starting at the most extreme to a lesser degree of mlc.

The type of person who internalizes their problems or emotions are most likely to be in the extreme bracket of midlife crisis. Their over analytical nature tends to bring them inside themselves, and really their mlc could last as long as any of these previous encounters.

Then there's those who look at their own mortality and seek to find the answer to whatever they are searching for. Normally, even they do not know what they are searching for, so this level is the hardest to predict how long it will take.

Then there's the really selfish people, who perhaps aren't even in mlc at all, but use it as a blanket to justify or excuse their actions into doing what they want. And it's really anybody's guess as to how long that will last!

The real key to working on how long does a midlife crisis last is to find a way of understanding and managing it. In general, you can expect mlc to last anywhere from 6 months to 5 years. In my experience, two to three years seems to be about the average.

Surviving midlife crisis is key to a new and successful future. Check out this publication now.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Midlife Crisis Signs

As we approach the middle years of life, some of us can unfortunately fall into some sort of crisis. This often causes more pain to those around us that ourselves, as we don't tend to realise we are in it. So it is important to be aware of midlife crisis signs in a bid to be able to manage if and when they do appear.

Some of these signs can be pretty petty or minor, but if added together along with erratic or otherwise bizarre behaviour that is out the norm, could lead one to thinking that a midlife crisis is apparent.

In other words, it's not one thing or symptom that puts us into a crisis, but an overall pattern of many things together.

Such midlife crisis symptoms can be dressing younger, wanting to do extreme sports, looking for affairs, a rebellious nature and a general questioning of one's life and where it is going.

What causes a midlife crisis could be anything from boredom, failed or stagnant careers to a major shock or perhaps close death.

The effects of someone going into a midlife crisis can be catastrophic. Marriages can break up, careers ruined and general misery for all involved. It is difficult to gauge how long does a midlife crisis last.

But there is much information readily available, and an example of this is this excellent guide to getting through your midlife crisis and setting realistic targets and goals.