Midlife Crisis and Breakup - How You Can Survive It

Your partner has hit middle age. They have been questioning everything about their lives, their very existence, what they are doing, where they are going. Sometimes these questions become too much, and they completely rebel from your partnership. Their midlife crisis destroys your life as well as theirs. In the end, it is too much and the midlife crisis causes your relationship to break down.

It is a tragic time, very hard to deal with, as many memories of happy times together will come flooding back to you time after time. The sad part is, that person you loved is gone, they have moved on and the hardest thing is, they have had more time to prepare for it, and when the announcement comes, it leaves you in a state of shock.

Your life is now seemingly in tatters, your hopes, your dreams, your plans all gone and wiped out. They are off having fun, doing what they "want", while you are left to try and cope and figure out what has gone wrong.

So what can you do?

Firstly, you need to realize that this is their crisis and not yours. It may feel like you are the one in crisis while they are seemingly enjoying themselves, but that couldn't be further than the truth.

Secondly, you should start looking to form your own life. If you can, appear nonchalant regarding their behavior and this in turn can work your way as they begin to realize the universe doesn't revolve around them after all.

Thirdly, seek counseling. Many people before have experienced what you are going through and there is countless help and advice out there for you. The sooner you deal with it, the better you are going to come out of it.

There are also countless publications out there with advice, information and help for you to understand what is happening and how you can deal with it.

To start with, I would recommend two publications, one deals with breaking up and even gives you ideas on how to get them back.

The other gives an excellent introduction into the midlife crisis and helps you to understand where they're at.

Signs of a Midlife Crisis - 5 Big Tell Tale Signs

You've been together since your teens, you know one another inside out, but you can tell something isn't right with them. They seem disinterested with life, not paying you as much attention, depressed or generally irritated. This could point to signs of a midlife crisis. From the mid 30's onwards, depending on many factors including personality, ego, childhood and so on, it is possible that your partner could be heading towards a midlife crisis.

So how do we tell? Are there any signs we can be looking for that can prepare us and help us? Well, here are five of the biggest tell tale signs.

1. Life is boring. Has your partner expressed this verbally or by their actions? Are they seeking more stimulating things or activities? Even things they used to do as teenagers, that would normally be too old for them to do now?

2. Are they disinterested in you, but perhaps flirting with other people? Are they spending a lot of time online, perhaps on Facebook or other social type sites?

3. Are they seeking to buy flashy things, sports cars, clothes to make them look younger? I remember going to a financial advisor's office for some investment advice, when he came out to greet me, he was around 45, but had a hairstyle of an 18 year old surfer, was wearing a shirt and tie and a pair of those Bermuda shorts. I know you shouldn't judge on appearances, but I couldn't bring myself to take his advice.

4. Are they doing things out of character and seemingly strange things? For example, my wife when she hit 40, wanted to change her name and have a metaphoric funeral for her old self, as the birth of her "new" self came through.

5. Reminiscing and thinking about the past is another big tell tale sign of a midlife crisis.

Of course, any one of these things alone do not necessarily mean they are in crisis or approaching crisis, but they can be used as an indication that things perhaps aren't alright with them. Forewarned is forearmed as they say, so it is useful to be able to be aware and look closely at what is happening or happened to your partner.

Looking for the signs of a midlife crisis could be key to saving your relationship. Find out as much as you possibly can because knowledge is power. If you can understand where your partner is at present, this will give you a fantastic insight to being able to help them and yourself and survive a midlife crisis.